Thoughtful Mondays: Desk & I

8:45am ‘Oh, hey Desk! I remember you from last year. Glad a familiar surface is still here. New faces, absent voices, but you. You’re still here. Hold my bag for me?’

9:15am ‘Don’t worry Desk. I’m back again. Just needed to put my lunch in the fridge. Now to be friends forever!’

10:15am ‘Desk, calm down. I just went to the bathroom. No, I’m not cheating on you with Sink. I’d never leave you. Really. Can you hand me the pile of papers over there? Thanks Desk.’

12:00pm ‘Alrighty Desk. I should go to lunch soon… Yup. Time to go walk aimlessly for an hour. Maybe we should buy you a treadmill… hm. Might include that in my first employment contract.’

1.00pm ‘Hey, Desk, who’s sitting near you? I thought you were my Desk. Just couldn’t handle being alone could you… Fine, I’ll just go talk to some other desk then…’

3:00pm: ‘Oh hi Desk. How are you? Still here? I mean, it’s only 5 hours into Monday, where else would you be? You want me back now? Fine. I’ll just sit here again.’

3:10pm ‘Oh DESK you are so funny. Let’s head bang like it’s the 00s and I’m back in high school. Actually let’s not because that emo stage may just kill me with embarrassment.. Oh god, is that more emails? Really? We should take a holiday together. Just you and me Desk. Yeah. Where do you wanna go? Oh, you just wanna stay here? Jeez, Desk, get a life.’

3:35pm ‘What… it’s only 3.35?! Desk, I swear you turn the clock back when I go get a cup of tea. What do you mean, you don’t know how to use a computer? You have one on you everyday! Do you want a cup of tea? No? Desk, you are a horrible thing. You don’t want to come to lunch with me, you don’t want to go on holiday, and you hate it when i give you tea! It’s like you don’t even want me here!’

4:55pm ‘You know what Desk? I’ll just leave. That’s it. Fine. No more of this fighting senselessly to get work done when all you want to do is complain when I come back from somewhere else THAT YOU WOULDN’T GO IN THE FIRST PLACE. I’ll just go now. Jeez Desk. You should really get out more.’

5:00pm ‘… forgot my purse. I’ll see you tomorrow, Desk.’

Disclaimer: I started full time (but indefinite) work today. So, not really a permanent position but with all the monotony of a real life, real world job. I love my boss and the people in my office. But I feel I have become really close to my desk. This conversation may or may not be completely, mostly, totally, and only a little bit, false.

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